Sometimes I wonder if it's because I'm an introvert (one of those standoffish reflective types) . . . Sometimes I wonder if it's because I'm getting older (truly a gift from above in my eyes) . . . Maybe it's because I've been through A LOT of REALLY DIFFICULT stuff in life . . . Sometimes I even entertain the possibility that God might finally be making some progress with this seemingly hopeless broken vessel . . . Whatever the reason, lately I've found myself pondering things from the vantage point of, "The Time We're Here Together." I suppose, at first glance, this may sound to some as a tad morbid.
You see, my dad calls me almost every night around the same time . . . just to chat. Sometimes I miss the call because I'm at a rehearsal, involved in a project, forget to take my phone off silent (from the school day), or what have you, and I feel genuinely disappointed in myself for letting him down when I miss his call. You see, it's occurred to me more and more as of late that we really only have a certain number of days here on this earth together before one of us will leave for the life beyond and the other will be left behind in the void.
I know firsthand those endless days that roll on, never changing, do change and do end. You suddenly realize those adults who never seemed to change when you were growing now look older, more frail, and one by one have passed away. The endless days of diapers, sticky fingers and toys everywhere slowly changes to endless days of running to this activity and that. Suddenly, you're looking into a teen's face (with occasionally flash backs to the little face's, longing to call back the higher child's voices) as they are running out the door . . . again . . . and then they're gone. . . flown from the nest. You're happy and yet, if only you could call back those precious times once again. . . the mom now gone, the smile and hug from that special grandmother. You drive along the same streets as the last how many years and suddenly you realize how much the area has changed from what it used to look like. Maybe it's knowing my daughter is stepping farther into her own world that includes very little time for me . . . and maybe it's knowing one day my last conversation with my dad will be the the last we have . . . just like it was when my grandmothers passed away and my mom.
You see, the time we're here together on this earth is really not such a long time after all. It goes way to quickly. I aim to savor every moment of this life I've been given. It is rich in it's beauty and the depth of love God has filled each day with through the people he's placed in my life.
Life is such a gift.
Love you, Dad. Sweet dreams,
Kaye:)
